Here i am...

... being sad and waiting for the time i die.

the last week as been so enlighting for me. got in a knife fight, ended up at the hospital. i have made mistakes and the choices i've made will help some people and I know they will thank me later on in there life.well, We'll see...

To all the people i've hurt...

It's for a reason...

I broke up with someone, because i gave them a nice period of time , when they were happy and cheerful. But now, You got to go on with your own life, just forget me, The person who hurt you so much, Who made you feel bad, made you feel unwanted...

 Did i punch you...

All because you've been a douche and need to know the limit of your actions. there are some limits what you can do. Don't forget that...

If i said something bad at you...

I'm sorry, I never mean to harm you in anyway but i was prolly pissed off and said the first thing that popped in mind...


Unknowing how long i have to live, i'll say this: I am amongst the forgotten... I have nothing against it.

P.S My old class basicly hates me for the pain i caused to Kata but they only know one side of the story and thats not the side that im on... Prolly its for the best that they hate me, They'll forget me even faster.

FML...

Suicide note

For some reason this was on my edit list... Fuck it il post it anyway.


Listen Up Dumbfucks:

Most people kill themselves because of a mental condition. This is true in my case too. The condition I suffer from is that I am not normal, I am not like everyone of you "sane" people.
I am not normal in the sense that I am not like every other one of you brain-dead zombies. I can think. I can reason intelligently. I can observe and learn from life. I can make my own decisions and follow through on them. And I can do these without any aid from celebrities, T.V., radio or MySpace. Unfortunately, every one of you shit-brained lemmings seem to lack these skills and I can't fucking take it any more.
Since everyone else in this world is a fucking retarded drone who revels in their ignorance and unintelligence, I must put an end to my misery. I truly wish I was normal. I wish I could be a fucking retarded sponge like all of you. I wish I could have the same conversations day in and day out about sports, politics and "how about that weather huh?". But I can't.
Sure you'll see this note and say Robi's the crazy one. You have to it's the only way you can go on thinking you're sane and your pathetic life is meaningful. Go ahead, call me the weirdo like everyone else surely will. Then, return to your happiness of everyday mindless monotony.
My only wish is that the bullet I put into my brain doesn't kill me but only leaves me brain dead. For if ignorance is bliss and everyone of you fuck-for-brains is truly happy, then living a life without a brain stem in a coma, devoid of any cognitive ability must surely be utopia.

Leave My Machine Plugged In You Fucking Retards,

Robi

P.S. If I get undead please don't shoot me in the head. I won't harm you. I planned ahead and have like 20 homeless guys' brains in my freezer.

Brothers!

Hello,

last week end i was at my best friends home, having a party, Celebreting his birthday.
Gratz For tannu...

Soo the thing that i wanna talk about is : The bond between Me ,Tannu and Rait. The bond that we have isn't just friendship. We Are More Then That. We are family, brothers. That day we talked with them and theres no such friends like us. Our friendship like Runs in bloodline, My dad, Raidus dad and Tannus dad would prolly still be together if they ALL be here.

R.I.P

Now, Me and Rait don't talk much but i know that we both would do everything for each other, even die. I got a feeling that me and Rait will start talking more and more...

I have a lot to write about but its late and i sleep like 3 hours per night and its fucking my system up.

Bye...

No-No topic

Hello,

So, Im drinking my problems away, yet again... im half drunk, but i still feel the dissapointment that my brother is ...
Well today i was out with my brother, we went to a club name ''the second world'' and we stayed there until 3-4 am. My brother is drunk as fuck. at 1am i got tired of clubbing around and left. I told my brother that im leaving,he said ok,but wait for us, we would be for long now, we'll go together'' Yeah RIGHT! in the meanwhile i was outside ,freezing and got in a fight. It went a bit bad but im ok. Finaly when my brother came out he called me, asking where i am. i said ill be there soon. thats when i know my place... We started moving out every 2steps they toke left me a step back, they got to our friends house in 15 minutes... me? it toke me 30 do get there because of my beatup leg. THEY DIDN'T EVEN LOOK BACK?
So now i know: I AM AMONGST THE FORGOTTEN.

At least when i finaly leave this fucked up life noone will remember or feel sorrow because of me.
As sad as it is this is the moment i give up life...

Who will take all the pain away?

everyone has forgotten me , Left me or hates me...

Why should i go on?

Thanks Tannu For Being A Good Friend...My best friend... Every step i take i feel pain just because im alive... the pain and suffering i have brought to all my friends and family... I can feel my family giving up on me... I prolly wouldn't be here if i didnt have you... But i dont have to harm you...I really wanna die but i can't and i don't wanna make you feel that pain...
AARGGHHH THE FUCKING SADNESS IN ME!? THE PAIN!!! THE HATE!!!Too much... I'm seriously on the breaking point...

Thank you Tannu

Sadness...

Hello,

So, Here i am, sitting in a empty room and thinking about life, Arguing with My Ex and hoping that one day She will thank me, but that will prolly never happen...

im Sorry to inform you, but maybe someday soon this blog will never post again...
I just got a bad feeling about the upcoming days... I got a Heartache thats basicly immobilizes my body, I feel awkward and i see thing moving around. The ground shakes under my feet and everything is in slowmotion

thinking about that topic i wanna add some qoutes i like:

''love me when i least deserve it, because that's when i really need it''

''One day your life will flash before your eyes, Make sure it's worth watching''

''You were born an original. Don't die a copy''

''When life gives youa hundred reasons to cry. Show life that you have a milion reasons to smile ''

''Anger, tears and sadness are only for those who have given up''

''Sad are only those who understand ''

''He who suffers much will know much''

Omg

Its late Good night.

The Hate!!!

Hey,

I know its been a while since my last post, but I moved out from home... Well i basicly got thrown out but thats not the point of this post.

this is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl9y3SIPt7o&feature=player_embedded
I just can't put the hate in words... This video is proof that even the familys that seem ''okey'' have serious problems. Just like my family.

just something i wanna share with you is that on the day i left home my mom yelled at me, saying things like:
''Whats the matter with you? are you retarded?''
''Hit me, i dare you?'' as much as i wanted i didn't because i'm not that kind of a monster...
''Move out!''
''Noone wants you''
''What made you a monster?'' she said i was a good kid and that i have changed. She made a monster She was the one that beat me EVERYDAY ...
''have the games messed with your mind'' The games helped me relax and just helped me get out of the fucked up reality.
and do top it all off ... She said ''I hope you die'' which made me think alot about life even more then usually.


She beat me so bad that i hated going home, got beaten to the hospital , when she was out i didn't sleep ,i was afaid that when she comes she ripped me out of bed and started yelling .

thanks to that fear i sometimes can't sleep well , i have nightmares ... Not just nightmares ... not monsters and trollz and stuff like that i see myself killing people ,and enjoying it ...

... just to much bad memorys that i can't undo or forget nether can i forgive.

thank you mom...
i keep on hating you...