Chrismas... FML
I never get what I want...
seeya
Messing up my health and life?--- Yes, Please...
Hello,
Yet again its been a long time since i've written here. but heck it im still a human...
Here i am drank and messed up. So i desided to let you know ''How Good I Am''...
Basicly everythings seems so ... Black and white... Mostly black... sadness ,sorrow and desire to die 120% Joy , happiness, madness and satisfaction 20% ...Just like the Russian voting system FUCK UP!
So figure it out your self how i feel...
A hint: FUCKED UP!
Bye im out bitches
(Sry if i curse alot, my bad)
Yet again its been a long time since i've written here. but heck it im still a human...
Here i am drank and messed up. So i desided to let you know ''How Good I Am''...Basicly everythings seems so ... Black and white... Mostly black... sadness ,sorrow and desire to die 120% Joy , happiness, madness and satisfaction 20% ...Just like the Russian voting system FUCK UP!
So figure it out your self how i feel...
A hint: FUCKED UP!
Bye im out bitches
(Sry if i curse alot, my bad)
Some really life-changing pictures
Chile's Puyehue volcano erupts
A U.S. Army soldier takes five with an Afghan boy during a patrol in Pul-e Alam, a town in Logar province, eastern Afghanistan.
This is Robert Pareza, He lost his son Robert David pareza on 9/11
Here i am...
... being sad and waiting for the time i die.
the last week as been so enlighting for me. got in a knife fight, ended up at the hospital. i have made mistakes and the choices i've made will help some people and I know they will thank me later on in there life.well, We'll see...
To all the people i've hurt...
It's for a reason...
I broke up with someone, because i gave them a nice period of time , when they were happy and cheerful. But now, You got to go on with your own life, just forget me, The person who hurt you so much, Who made you feel bad, made you feel unwanted...
Did i punch you...
All because you've been a douche and need to know the limit of your actions. there are some limits what you can do. Don't forget that...
If i said something bad at you...
I'm sorry, I never mean to harm you in anyway but i was prolly pissed off and said the first thing that popped in mind...
Unknowing how long i have to live, i'll say this: I am amongst the forgotten... I have nothing against it.
P.S My old class basicly hates me for the pain i caused to Kata but they only know one side of the story and thats not the side that im on... Prolly its for the best that they hate me, They'll forget me even faster.
FML...
the last week as been so enlighting for me. got in a knife fight, ended up at the hospital. i have made mistakes and the choices i've made will help some people and I know they will thank me later on in there life.well, We'll see...
To all the people i've hurt...
It's for a reason...
I broke up with someone, because i gave them a nice period of time , when they were happy and cheerful. But now, You got to go on with your own life, just forget me, The person who hurt you so much, Who made you feel bad, made you feel unwanted...
Did i punch you...
All because you've been a douche and need to know the limit of your actions. there are some limits what you can do. Don't forget that...
If i said something bad at you...
I'm sorry, I never mean to harm you in anyway but i was prolly pissed off and said the first thing that popped in mind...
Unknowing how long i have to live, i'll say this: I am amongst the forgotten... I have nothing against it.
P.S My old class basicly hates me for the pain i caused to Kata but they only know one side of the story and thats not the side that im on... Prolly its for the best that they hate me, They'll forget me even faster.
FML...
Suicide note
For some reason this was on my edit list... Fuck it il post it anyway.
Listen Up Dumbfucks:
Most people kill themselves because of a mental condition. This is true in my case too. The condition I suffer from is that I am not normal, I am not like everyone of you "sane" people.Listen Up Dumbfucks:
I am not normal in the sense that I am not like every other one of you brain-dead zombies. I can think. I can reason intelligently. I can observe and learn from life. I can make my own decisions and follow through on them. And I can do these without any aid from celebrities, T.V., radio or MySpace. Unfortunately, every one of you shit-brained lemmings seem to lack these skills and I can't fucking take it any more.
Since everyone else in this world is a fucking retarded drone who revels in their ignorance and unintelligence, I must put an end to my misery. I truly wish I was normal. I wish I could be a fucking retarded sponge like all of you. I wish I could have the same conversations day in and day out about sports, politics and "how about that weather huh?". But I can't.
Sure you'll see this note and say Robi's the crazy one. You have to it's the only way you can go on thinking you're sane and your pathetic life is meaningful. Go ahead, call me the weirdo like everyone else surely will. Then, return to your happiness of everyday mindless monotony.
My only wish is that the bullet I put into my brain doesn't kill me but only leaves me brain dead. For if ignorance is bliss and everyone of you fuck-for-brains is truly happy, then living a life without a brain stem in a coma, devoid of any cognitive ability must surely be utopia.
Leave My Machine Plugged In You Fucking Retards,
Robi
P.S. If I get undead please don't shoot me in the head. I won't harm you. I planned ahead and have like 20 homeless guys' brains in my freezer.
Brothers!
Hello,
last week end i was at my best friends home, having a party, Celebreting his birthday.
Gratz For tannu...
Soo the thing that i wanna talk about is : The bond between Me ,Tannu and Rait. The bond that we have isn't just friendship. We Are More Then That. We are family, brothers. That day we talked with them and theres no such friends like us. Our friendship like Runs in bloodline, My dad, Raidus dad and Tannus dad would prolly still be together if they ALL be here.
R.I.P
Now, Me and Rait don't talk much but i know that we both would do everything for each other, even die. I got a feeling that me and Rait will start talking more and more...
I have a lot to write about but its late and i sleep like 3 hours per night and its fucking my system up.
Bye...
last week end i was at my best friends home, having a party, Celebreting his birthday.
Gratz For tannu...
Soo the thing that i wanna talk about is : The bond between Me ,Tannu and Rait. The bond that we have isn't just friendship. We Are More Then That. We are family, brothers. That day we talked with them and theres no such friends like us. Our friendship like Runs in bloodline, My dad, Raidus dad and Tannus dad would prolly still be together if they ALL be here.R.I.P
Now, Me and Rait don't talk much but i know that we both would do everything for each other, even die. I got a feeling that me and Rait will start talking more and more...
I have a lot to write about but its late and i sleep like 3 hours per night and its fucking my system up.
Bye...
No-No topic
Hello,
So, Im drinking my problems away, yet again... im half drunk, but i still feel the dissapointment that my brother is ...
Well today i was out with my brother, we went to a club name ''the second world'' and we stayed there until 3-4 am. My brother is drunk as fuck. at 1am i got tired of clubbing around and left. I told my brother that im leaving,he said ok,but wait for us, we would be for long now, we'll go together'' Yeah RIGHT! in the meanwhile i was outside ,freezing and got in a fight. It went a bit bad but im ok. Finaly when my brother came out he called me, asking where i am. i said ill be there soon. thats when i know my place... We started moving out every 2steps they toke left me a step back, they got to our friends house in 15 minutes... me? it toke me 30 do get there because of my beatup leg. THEY DIDN'T EVEN LOOK BACK?
So now i know: I AM AMONGST THE FORGOTTEN.
At least when i finaly leave this fucked up life noone will remember or feel sorrow because of me.
As sad as it is this is the moment i give up life...
Who will take all the pain away?
everyone has forgotten me , Left me or hates me...
Why should i go on?
Thanks Tannu For Being A Good Friend...My best friend... Every step i take i feel pain just because im alive... the pain and suffering i have brought to all my friends and family... I can feel my family giving up on me... I prolly wouldn't be here if i didnt have you... But i dont have to harm you...I really wanna die but i can't and i don't wanna make you feel that pain...
AARGGHHH THE FUCKING SADNESS IN ME!? THE PAIN!!! THE HATE!!!Too much... I'm seriously on the breaking point...
Thank you Tannu
So, Im drinking my problems away, yet again... im half drunk, but i still feel the dissapointment that my brother is ...
Well today i was out with my brother, we went to a club name ''the second world'' and we stayed there until 3-4 am. My brother is drunk as fuck. at 1am i got tired of clubbing around and left. I told my brother that im leaving,he said ok,but wait for us, we would be for long now, we'll go together'' Yeah RIGHT! in the meanwhile i was outside ,freezing and got in a fight. It went a bit bad but im ok. Finaly when my brother came out he called me, asking where i am. i said ill be there soon. thats when i know my place... We started moving out every 2steps they toke left me a step back, they got to our friends house in 15 minutes... me? it toke me 30 do get there because of my beatup leg. THEY DIDN'T EVEN LOOK BACK?
So now i know: I AM AMONGST THE FORGOTTEN.
At least when i finaly leave this fucked up life noone will remember or feel sorrow because of me.
As sad as it is this is the moment i give up life...
Who will take all the pain away?
everyone has forgotten me , Left me or hates me...
Why should i go on?
Thanks Tannu For Being A Good Friend...My best friend... Every step i take i feel pain just because im alive... the pain and suffering i have brought to all my friends and family... I can feel my family giving up on me... I prolly wouldn't be here if i didnt have you... But i dont have to harm you...I really wanna die but i can't and i don't wanna make you feel that pain...
AARGGHHH THE FUCKING SADNESS IN ME!? THE PAIN!!! THE HATE!!!Too much... I'm seriously on the breaking point...
Thank you Tannu
Sadness...
Hello,
So, Here i am, sitting in a empty room and thinking about life, Arguing with My Ex and hoping that one day She will thank me, but that will prolly never happen...
im Sorry to inform you, but maybe someday soon this blog will never post again...
I just got a bad feeling about the upcoming days... I got a Heartache thats basicly immobilizes my body, I feel awkward and i see thing moving around. The ground shakes under my feet and everything is in slowmotion
thinking about that topic i wanna add some qoutes i like:
''love me when i least deserve it, because that's when i really need it''
''One day your life will flash before your eyes, Make sure it's worth watching''
''You were born an original. Don't die a copy''
''When life gives youa hundred reasons to cry. Show life that you have a milion reasons to smile ''
''Anger, tears and sadness are only for those who have given up''
''Sad are only those who understand ''
''He who suffers much will know much''
So, Here i am, sitting in a empty room and thinking about life, Arguing with My Ex and hoping that one day She will thank me, but that will prolly never happen...
im Sorry to inform you, but maybe someday soon this blog will never post again...
I just got a bad feeling about the upcoming days... I got a Heartache thats basicly immobilizes my body, I feel awkward and i see thing moving around. The ground shakes under my feet and everything is in slowmotion
thinking about that topic i wanna add some qoutes i like:
''love me when i least deserve it, because that's when i really need it''
''One day your life will flash before your eyes, Make sure it's worth watching''
''You were born an original. Don't die a copy''
''When life gives youa hundred reasons to cry. Show life that you have a milion reasons to smile ''
''Anger, tears and sadness are only for those who have given up''
''Sad are only those who understand ''
''He who suffers much will know much''
The Hate!!!
Hey,
I know its been a while since my last post, but I moved out from home... Well i basicly got thrown out but thats not the point of this post.
this is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl9y3SIPt7o&feature=player_embedded
I just can't put the hate in words... This video is proof that even the familys that seem ''okey'' have serious problems. Just like my family.
just something i wanna share with you is that on the day i left home my mom yelled at me, saying things like:
''Whats the matter with you? are you retarded?''
''Hit me, i dare you?'' as much as i wanted i didn't because i'm not that kind of a monster...
''Move out!''
''Noone wants you''
''What made you a monster?'' she said i was a good kid and that i have changed. She made a monster She was the one that beat me EVERYDAY ...
''have the games messed with your mind'' The games helped me relax and just helped me get out of the fucked up reality.
and do top it all off ... She said ''I hope you die'' which made me think alot about life even more then usually.
She beat me so bad that i hated going home, got beaten to the hospital , when she was out i didn't sleep ,i was afaid that when she comes she ripped me out of bed and started yelling .
thanks to that fear i sometimes can't sleep well , i have nightmares ... Not just nightmares ... not monsters and trollz and stuff like that i see myself killing people ,and enjoying it ...
... just to much bad memorys that i can't undo or forget nether can i forgive.
thank you mom...
i keep on hating you...
I know its been a while since my last post, but I moved out from home... Well i basicly got thrown out but thats not the point of this post.
this is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl9y3SIPt7o&feature=player_embedded
I just can't put the hate in words... This video is proof that even the familys that seem ''okey'' have serious problems. Just like my family.
just something i wanna share with you is that on the day i left home my mom yelled at me, saying things like:
''Whats the matter with you? are you retarded?''
''Hit me, i dare you?'' as much as i wanted i didn't because i'm not that kind of a monster...
''Move out!''
''Noone wants you''
''What made you a monster?'' she said i was a good kid and that i have changed. She made a monster She was the one that beat me EVERYDAY ...
''have the games messed with your mind'' The games helped me relax and just helped me get out of the fucked up reality.
and do top it all off ... She said ''I hope you die'' which made me think alot about life even more then usually.
She beat me so bad that i hated going home, got beaten to the hospital , when she was out i didn't sleep ,i was afaid that when she comes she ripped me out of bed and started yelling .
thanks to that fear i sometimes can't sleep well , i have nightmares ... Not just nightmares ... not monsters and trollz and stuff like that i see myself killing people ,and enjoying it ...
... just to much bad memorys that i can't undo or forget nether can i forgive.
thank you mom...
i keep on hating you...
tired as hell
Hey...
So as you prolly see im tired...
Wanna sleep and study at the same time.
Some people who know me go like whaaaaaaaattt ??? You and study??? pfft
Mah i gotta change one day right?A moment a go i was looking for info about engines and stuff like that. Fun...
Now im lisening to music and just chilling...
GIVE ME A TOPIC TO WRITE ABOUT!!!
-.-
So as you prolly see im tired...
Wanna sleep and study at the same time.
Some people who know me go like whaaaaaaaattt ??? You and study??? pfft
Mah i gotta change one day right?A moment a go i was looking for info about engines and stuff like that. Fun...
Now im lisening to music and just chilling...
GIVE ME A TOPIC TO WRITE ABOUT!!!
-.-
What is life? Part 1
Hey,
The term ''life'' is useless and unnessasary. I try to take life as it is:
Torture,
Pain,
Happiness,
Fun,
Pleasure,
A Big Mess... all of those aren't bad. Let me explain:
Torture- Its makes you stronger aslong as you don't crack under the presure and give up. It worked for me. Just don't give up and just keep on goin.
Pain- Now this is abit diffrent the torture ... there are two kinds of pain, Good and Bad.
Good pain shows when you Work hard for something and you achive it. for example :
You set yourself a target like you'll run for 2 hours at half speed, it will hurt but if you finish the task then you'll feel much better then you felt before (mentaly). It will probly hurt for more then just 1 day or 2 minutes ,but it feels good.
The Bad type of pain- Now that the pain You don't like even if your a heartless bastard. There are some words to explain the pain: Loneliness, Heart break, Loss of someone close to you, The feeling that you are useless and you can't do anything right.(i have this one alot) The last one is the one that sucks the most. It will drag you down again and again ... DON'T LET IT WIN...Be better and Don't let it win, you have ''a use'' Theres always someone that needs you. Theres always someone who you matter to. i know its hard But if you win , you'll be stronger and stonger every time...
i'll explain the other term later... but now im goin zzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzzz
Till next time
The term ''life'' is useless and unnessasary. I try to take life as it is:
Torture,
Pain,
Happiness,
Fun,
Pleasure,
A Big Mess... all of those aren't bad. Let me explain:
Torture- Its makes you stronger aslong as you don't crack under the presure and give up. It worked for me. Just don't give up and just keep on goin.
Pain- Now this is abit diffrent the torture ... there are two kinds of pain, Good and Bad.
Good pain shows when you Work hard for something and you achive it. for example :
You set yourself a target like you'll run for 2 hours at half speed, it will hurt but if you finish the task then you'll feel much better then you felt before (mentaly). It will probly hurt for more then just 1 day or 2 minutes ,but it feels good.
The Bad type of pain- Now that the pain You don't like even if your a heartless bastard. There are some words to explain the pain: Loneliness, Heart break, Loss of someone close to you, The feeling that you are useless and you can't do anything right.(i have this one alot) The last one is the one that sucks the most. It will drag you down again and again ... DON'T LET IT WIN...Be better and Don't let it win, you have ''a use'' Theres always someone that needs you. Theres always someone who you matter to. i know its hard But if you win , you'll be stronger and stonger every time...
i'll explain the other term later... but now im goin zzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzzz
Till next time
Ou My God!
Hello,
Sry, Im just smiling for the last 30 minutes and thinking: What to people think Love is? But yeah my new school ... ITS FFFING EPIC I just LOVE it Cmon the classes there are like 90 minutes long and i mainly have like 2 lessons per day ..
So im going to talk about my class...
I Dont like em much because The only girl in the 3 grups is my girlfriend and they want her. But i know she wont pick them because im tha best (upping myself never hurt anyone)...
Seems like im going to have some problems in my class what to you think?
I think i just met the NEW class on Retardness(no offence to people who are mentaly or physically challenged You'r Cool i Really think your awesome you see the world in a totaly diffrent field of view) He's amazingly retarded like, its amazing! I didnt even know thats possible!
Im getting angry/fascinated again... Just thinking about the guy makes me wanna punch someone! I dont know if you have ever seen someone like him but GEEZUS Thats amazing he can be that ffing retarded...
Sorry again for the unpolite word I just am kinda mad at the moment
Leave a comment letting me know if you want something or my point in something (also it gives me more ideas for posts!)*smile FACE
Bye till next time
Sry, Im just smiling for the last 30 minutes and thinking: What to people think Love is? But yeah my new school ... ITS FFFING EPIC I just LOVE it Cmon the classes there are like 90 minutes long and i mainly have like 2 lessons per day ..
So im going to talk about my class...
I Dont like em much because The only girl in the 3 grups is my girlfriend and they want her. But i know she wont pick them because im tha best (upping myself never hurt anyone)...
Seems like im going to have some problems in my class what to you think?
I think i just met the NEW class on Retardness(no offence to people who are mentaly or physically challenged You'r Cool i Really think your awesome you see the world in a totaly diffrent field of view) He's amazingly retarded like, its amazing! I didnt even know thats possible!
Im getting angry/fascinated again... Just thinking about the guy makes me wanna punch someone! I dont know if you have ever seen someone like him but GEEZUS Thats amazing he can be that ffing retarded...
Sorry again for the unpolite word I just am kinda mad at the moment
Leave a comment letting me know if you want something or my point in something (also it gives me more ideas for posts!)*smile FACE
Bye till next time
It's time...
Helllooooo...
So Now I'ts Time To Fix My Bike And Go To The Local Park And Ride The Hell Out Of It!!!
If Ya Wondering What Bike I Ride It's A WTP(We The People) Addict I Think It's The 2010 Version. Also I Have A Lot Of Caps I Just Like It This Way:D
So Now I'ts Time To Fix My Bike And Go To The Local Park And Ride The Hell Out Of It!!!
If Ya Wondering What Bike I Ride It's A WTP(We The People) Addict I Think It's The 2010 Version. Also I Have A Lot Of Caps I Just Like It This Way:D
You just can't understand Life...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG-ut2F2rTY
Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again
So if you love me let me go
And run away before I know
My heart is just too dark to care
I can't destroy what isn't there
Deliver me into my fate
If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you
Ooh, my smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know
I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your lights
But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight
So save your breath, I will not care
I think I made it very clear
You couldn't hate enough to love
Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend
Then I could hurt you in the end
I never claimed to be a saint
Ooh, my own was banished long ago
It took the death of hope to let you go
So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away, you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again
So if you love me let me go
And run away before I know
My heart is just too dark to care
I can't destroy what isn't there
Deliver me into my fate
If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you
Ooh, my smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know
I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your lights
But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight
So save your breath, I will not care
I think I made it very clear
You couldn't hate enough to love
Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend
Then I could hurt you in the end
I never claimed to be a saint
Ooh, my own was banished long ago
It took the death of hope to let you go
So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away, you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
IT'S KILLING TIME!
AAHHHH IM SO ANGRY AT THE MOMENT!
SHE LIED TO ME!
HOW COULD SHE !?
AND HIM!? AHHHHHHH....
KILLING TIME MOTHERFUCKERS!
SEE YA IN 10 YEARS!
My speciality?
GAMES...
GAMES....
ITS ALL ABOUT THE GAMES
DON'T F---- WITH THE GAMERS
I OWN IT UP!
YOU LOSE
I WIN
KD 12.2/1 = OWNAGE
WEAK
It ain't Bad!
WEAK
The Moment You Want People To Forget You And Just Die...
...
Man, This sucks. Why did i do it? Maybe it's for the best? Will She Forget me? Will I die soon? What will happen to her? How many people would be at my funeral? Will people remeber me as ME? Will the bring flowers to my grave? What if i survive? What will happen to me then? Will I find my heart and My Will to live? What if She has someone else already? What if She never loved me ? What is Love? What if my whole life was a lie? What is the point of life? Should I dissapper? Should I ? What if people dont wanna be with me anymore because what I've done? Why? When will My time come? Why did you lie? Am I That bad of a man? Aren't i good enough for you?
Man, This sucks. Why did i do it? Maybe it's for the best? Will She Forget me? Will I die soon? What will happen to her? How many people would be at my funeral? Will people remeber me as ME? Will the bring flowers to my grave? What if i survive? What will happen to me then? Will I find my heart and My Will to live? What if She has someone else already? What if She never loved me ? What is Love? What if my whole life was a lie? What is the point of life? Should I dissapper? Should I ? What if people dont wanna be with me anymore because what I've done? Why? When will My time come? Why did you lie? Am I That bad of a man? Aren't i good enough for you?
The feeling
She said I don't spend time like I really should
She said she don't know me, anymore
I think she hates me deep down, I know she does
She wants to erase me hmmmmmm
A couple days no talking, I seen my baby
And this what she tells me, she said
I keep on running, keep on running
And nothing works
I can't get away from you, no
I keep on ducking, keep on ducking
And nothing helps
I can't stop missing you, yeah
She said she don't know me, anymore
I think she hates me deep down, I know she does
She wants to erase me hmmmmmm
A couple days no talking, I seen my baby
And this what she tells me, she said
I keep on running, keep on running
And nothing works
I can't get away from you, no
I keep on ducking, keep on ducking
And nothing helps
I can't stop missing you, yeah
Are we there Yet?
So...
Here I am Drinking and waiting for a friend... Seems to be like things are getting harder and more complex...
On the other hand who said its easy? life should be Tough. You may ask why... I say that it makes your future easyer but not easy.
Well anyway things are Fff ing hard at the moment:
Problems with my mom and stepdad,
Work,
Not seeing the One I love,
wanted to change who I am...
The list goes on and on
Also its hard to lose contact with the people you know for 9 year and one day you just dont see them anymore as often as you want...
What are your thoughts on when someone wants to change you ?
Here I am Drinking and waiting for a friend... Seems to be like things are getting harder and more complex...
On the other hand who said its easy? life should be Tough. You may ask why... I say that it makes your future easyer but not easy.
Well anyway things are Fff ing hard at the moment:
Problems with my mom and stepdad,
Work,
Not seeing the One I love,
wanted to change who I am...
The list goes on and on
Also its hard to lose contact with the people you know for 9 year and one day you just dont see them anymore as often as you want...
What are your thoughts on when someone wants to change you ?
Sry...
Hey,
Sry i haven't been blogging. i've been really busy and i have a little time also i got a new pc and my new PC doesent remind me to blog...
until then READ IT
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lyin' here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
as I'm fadin' away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screamin'
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slippin' off the edge
I'm hangin' by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
As I'm fadin' away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
as I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
also a picture.
Sry i haven't been blogging. i've been really busy and i have a little time also i got a new pc and my new PC doesent remind me to blog...
until then READ IT
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lyin' here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
as I'm fadin' away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screamin'
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slippin' off the edge
I'm hangin' by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
As I'm fadin' away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
as I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
also a picture.
Examss......
So for the last week i have been on a exam frenzy... I hate those mo'fos if i say myself... So thats the main reason i haven't been blogging il try to blog more ...
My story...
hey...
So i was thinking of talking about my life maybe then you'll know who i am and why am i what i am...
il start from the very start.
I was born in 25. january 1995 in Tartu but i lived in Kasepää. My father (Tiit Vaarma)
and my Mother(Aire Vaarma) got a divorce when i was 4 years old. me, my mom and
my two brothers(Joel , Mikk) moved out. the oldest memory i have of my existence is
of us moving out.
My father:
Is a cool guy. I have the happiest memorys with him. My mom and dad got divorced because
my father had a drinking
problem... I aint happy about that but its the truth. He moved to Tallinn and work there for
sometime then he started
working in Finland. The only time we(Me and my brothers) saw him was at our grannys
place. He still works there and
now and then we still see him. I still love being around him.
My mother:
She shows herself as a good person but She isn't the best mom. Now hes homely and
watches over my half bother
(kotre). She married a guy name Oleg Kattai and toke his last name. She beat me when
i was younger and she always
yelled at me , even i was doing stuff right or i didn't lie to her. She makes my life a
nightmare even now...
My stepdad: (Oleg Kattai)
He works in a building company and when we moved in with him, we had to move in
with hes children (Ketter and Kaur).
He and my mom has 2 children of there own now (kotre and karlotta). Hes a mean
russian man. Every party he drinks
vodka and talks out loud. He always talks with me in a evil kind , he like wants to
make me feel like a freak / weirdo.
My brothers: (Joel and Mikk)
Joel:
He has a disease and i have to help him always. He can't do hard work or workout.
He lays in his bed and plays in his
laptop. Hes a good brother anyway. He is angry at me sometimes but that dosent
bother me. He lends me money when
i need it.
Mikk:
He lives on his own now and has a nice life. He works in a pub as a Barman.
He has help me alot and i dont know what
would i do if he wouldn't exist. Hes funny and he dosent yell at me like most people
We help each other out a lot.
My Best Friend : (Tan Säälik)
Tan has been my bestest and my longest friend. We are like brothers of blood.
I have known him for basicly all my life and
Hes a good friend. I dont know that i would be if we wouldn't be friends.
We are actuly related also and thats a BIG plus
He lives in Kasepää but hes probly coming to Tartu or Lähte to school.
Me:
I have always blamed myself for the divorce between my mom and dad.
I love art , puzzles and thinking about stuff alot...
I would be better at school ,if something motivated me at the moment there's basicly
nothing motivating me and thats kinda sad.
I have love a few people in my short life ...
My mom not being one of them...I ride BMX and i love it because while im riding,
im in my own bubble. Nothing can disturbe me , exept pain...
Theres Tons of stuff i can tell you but it would get boring in time so yeah ...
So i was thinking of talking about my life maybe then you'll know who i am and why am i what i am...
il start from the very start.
I was born in 25. january 1995 in Tartu but i lived in Kasepää. My father (Tiit Vaarma)
and my Mother(Aire Vaarma) got a divorce when i was 4 years old. me, my mom and
my two brothers(Joel , Mikk) moved out. the oldest memory i have of my existence is
of us moving out.
My father:
Is a cool guy. I have the happiest memorys with him. My mom and dad got divorced because
my father had a drinking
problem... I aint happy about that but its the truth. He moved to Tallinn and work there for
sometime then he started
working in Finland. The only time we(Me and my brothers) saw him was at our grannys
place. He still works there and
now and then we still see him. I still love being around him.
My mother:
She shows herself as a good person but She isn't the best mom. Now hes homely and
watches over my half bother
(kotre). She married a guy name Oleg Kattai and toke his last name. She beat me when
i was younger and she always
yelled at me , even i was doing stuff right or i didn't lie to her. She makes my life a
nightmare even now...
My stepdad: (Oleg Kattai)
He works in a building company and when we moved in with him, we had to move in
with hes children (Ketter and Kaur).
He and my mom has 2 children of there own now (kotre and karlotta). Hes a mean
russian man. Every party he drinks
vodka and talks out loud. He always talks with me in a evil kind , he like wants to
make me feel like a freak / weirdo.
My brothers: (Joel and Mikk)
Joel:
He has a disease and i have to help him always. He can't do hard work or workout.
He lays in his bed and plays in his
laptop. Hes a good brother anyway. He is angry at me sometimes but that dosent
bother me. He lends me money when
i need it.
Mikk:
He lives on his own now and has a nice life. He works in a pub as a Barman.
He has help me alot and i dont know what
would i do if he wouldn't exist. Hes funny and he dosent yell at me like most people
We help each other out a lot.
My Best Friend : (Tan Säälik)
Tan has been my bestest and my longest friend. We are like brothers of blood.
I have known him for basicly all my life and
Hes a good friend. I dont know that i would be if we wouldn't be friends.
We are actuly related also and thats a BIG plus
He lives in Kasepää but hes probly coming to Tartu or Lähte to school.
Me:
I have always blamed myself for the divorce between my mom and dad.
I love art , puzzles and thinking about stuff alot...
I would be better at school ,if something motivated me at the moment there's basicly
nothing motivating me and thats kinda sad.
I have love a few people in my short life ...
My mom not being one of them...I ride BMX and i love it because while im riding,
im in my own bubble. Nothing can disturbe me , exept pain...
Theres Tons of stuff i can tell you but it would get boring in time so yeah ...
...Just a chance...
Hey.
(I know its been a while i posted anything... Also start this video while reading this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH4-tOqLH94)
It's been REALLY crazy theses few months. So many changes... So much pain and torture...
Also i got a chance at following My life dream. I got My chance to enter a school with a path related to War and defending your homefront...
Hopefully i'll get into the school and follow my dream of handling a weapon to defend my Home and the people i love...
I'll keep you updated with this Forsaken life i have ...
(I know its been a while i posted anything... Also start this video while reading this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH4-tOqLH94)
It's been REALLY crazy theses few months. So many changes... So much pain and torture...
Also i got a chance at following My life dream. I got My chance to enter a school with a path related to War and defending your homefront...
Hopefully i'll get into the school and follow my dream of handling a weapon to defend my Home and the people i love...
I'll keep you updated with this Forsaken life i have ...
The World Will Know True Pain...
feel empty, unwanted, and unimportant that's how it is many people but only few understand true pain........why is it that we should suffer more pain if this world never change then that's it many people really don't understand such pain that we feel although many people have suffered pain but such different pain........maybe it is our destiny to be hated that's what it is were born to be hated and being hated creates hatred and hatred creates war.
Why is our society so violent?
There is one thing that makes people feel enough rage to commit violence, and that is a feeling of powerlessness. If people feel that they have no control over their destiny and environment, if they feel that they cannot act effectively, then they can reach a point where they believe that nothing short of violence can change their situation.
Acting effectively requires you to influence other people and to control your environment. To influence other people, they must respect you and be willing to listen to what you have to say. To control your environment, you must understand it, have the skills to affect it, and be permitted to act on it.
It should be clear that these conditions are not met very often in our society. Many people in our society are alienated from one another and have few opportunities to exert any real influence on one another. Many poor and uneducated people do not have any control over their environment whatsoever.
However, powerlessness is not the only ingredient in violence. The real question is not why people are violent, but why so many men are violent. Although women are just as capable of violence as men, crime statistics show that it is not women who are turning our urban environments into war zones.
Both men and women must abide by certain expectations. Even though people have few instincts and all of our adult behavior is learned, we labor under the misconception that men and women are biologically destined to behave completely differently. Women are supposed to be yielding, they are not expected to forcefully express their own wants and needs. Men are supposed to be dominant and commanding, and are regarded as weak if they express any tendencies to yield or to behave in a "feminine" way.
As psychologists have discovered, however, the most mentally healthy people express emotional and behavioral characteristics traditionally assigned to both sexes. The fully functioning human can be either forceful or gentle, commanding or submissive, strong or yielding, as the situation requires. Unfortunately, the acceptable range of emotions for men is rather narrow, and what happens is that men must express all of their emotional energy through the few emotions available to them. This leads to rather exaggerated expressions of strength and virility.
Now, couple this self-image men have of strength and domination with the feelings of powerlessness rife in our society, and you have a recipe for disaster. Men must express their exaggerated sense of dominance, but they are rendered impotent by their inability to act with any effectiveness. To these men, violence seems to be the only way to affect their environment.
This will continue to be a problem until men are raised differently.
Acting effectively requires you to influence other people and to control your environment. To influence other people, they must respect you and be willing to listen to what you have to say. To control your environment, you must understand it, have the skills to affect it, and be permitted to act on it.
It should be clear that these conditions are not met very often in our society. Many people in our society are alienated from one another and have few opportunities to exert any real influence on one another. Many poor and uneducated people do not have any control over their environment whatsoever.
However, powerlessness is not the only ingredient in violence. The real question is not why people are violent, but why so many men are violent. Although women are just as capable of violence as men, crime statistics show that it is not women who are turning our urban environments into war zones.
Both men and women must abide by certain expectations. Even though people have few instincts and all of our adult behavior is learned, we labor under the misconception that men and women are biologically destined to behave completely differently. Women are supposed to be yielding, they are not expected to forcefully express their own wants and needs. Men are supposed to be dominant and commanding, and are regarded as weak if they express any tendencies to yield or to behave in a "feminine" way.
As psychologists have discovered, however, the most mentally healthy people express emotional and behavioral characteristics traditionally assigned to both sexes. The fully functioning human can be either forceful or gentle, commanding or submissive, strong or yielding, as the situation requires. Unfortunately, the acceptable range of emotions for men is rather narrow, and what happens is that men must express all of their emotional energy through the few emotions available to them. This leads to rather exaggerated expressions of strength and virility.
Now, couple this self-image men have of strength and domination with the feelings of powerlessness rife in our society, and you have a recipe for disaster. Men must express their exaggerated sense of dominance, but they are rendered impotent by their inability to act with any effectiveness. To these men, violence seems to be the only way to affect their environment.
This will continue to be a problem until men are raised differently.
Why is there so much hate in the world?
Well, at least were not in the middle ages, when every conceivable atrocity against groups and individuals was justified by the fact that they were different in some way. Its better now, at least in some parts of the world, than it was then. Of course, there is still a good bit of hate and cruelty, and we usually just bemoan it as a part of human nature. It isn't.
People have very high standards for themselves. As psychologists point out, we dont like to see ourselves as not meeting our own expectations. People naturally try as hard as they are able to meet their own goals, so "trying harder" is not a solution. People certainly dont want to lower their expectations either, so they adjust their image of themselves instead. This temporarily solves the crisis; our expectations are intact and we dont have to try and improve our behavior and performance to a level above what is possible for us.
Unfortunately, this image shift has some rather undesirable side-effects. Whenever we have thoughts or feelings that do not fit in with our superior self image, when we are ashamed of our thoughts, we shove those thoughts and feelings out of our conscious attention. We are afraid of such thoughts; they threaten our self-image at a fundamental level.
These thoughts do not go away; they are still in our minds. Thoughts have their own energy whether we are paying attention to them or not. Similar thoughts attract one another and form structures. People who are involved in creative mental tasks experienced this constantly. When they work with related thoughts and ideas, these thoughts begin to form themselves into hierarchies and patterns. Thoughts that we fear are no different; they create mental landscapes of what we fear the most within our own minds.
When something reminds us of these fearful thought structures, we experience a sudden surge of hatred, fear, or disgust as our conscious attention is momentarily focused on our unacceptable thoughts. Because we cannot accept these thoughts as part of ourselves, we assume that the feelings they generate are coming from whatever or whoever reminded us of them. This is called projection. Anyone that seems vaguely menacing can cause us to project our own suppressed anger onto them. This anger seems to be separate from "our own" thoughts, making it easy to believe that the anger is coming from the other person. Someone with different customs can prompt us to project any anti-social or simply unconventional thoughts of our own that disturbed or disgusted us, making the person before us seems disturbing or dangerous. Depending on the force of our suppressed feelings, people who are in fact harmless can appear to be capable of bringing down civilization.
Well, that was a long exposition, but it boils down to this. The more you accept your own thoughts as normal and natural, whether they offend your sense of decency or not, the more clearly you will be able to see the world. Convincing others of this could be a problem, however
People have very high standards for themselves. As psychologists point out, we dont like to see ourselves as not meeting our own expectations. People naturally try as hard as they are able to meet their own goals, so "trying harder" is not a solution. People certainly dont want to lower their expectations either, so they adjust their image of themselves instead. This temporarily solves the crisis; our expectations are intact and we dont have to try and improve our behavior and performance to a level above what is possible for us.
Unfortunately, this image shift has some rather undesirable side-effects. Whenever we have thoughts or feelings that do not fit in with our superior self image, when we are ashamed of our thoughts, we shove those thoughts and feelings out of our conscious attention. We are afraid of such thoughts; they threaten our self-image at a fundamental level.
These thoughts do not go away; they are still in our minds. Thoughts have their own energy whether we are paying attention to them or not. Similar thoughts attract one another and form structures. People who are involved in creative mental tasks experienced this constantly. When they work with related thoughts and ideas, these thoughts begin to form themselves into hierarchies and patterns. Thoughts that we fear are no different; they create mental landscapes of what we fear the most within our own minds.
When something reminds us of these fearful thought structures, we experience a sudden surge of hatred, fear, or disgust as our conscious attention is momentarily focused on our unacceptable thoughts. Because we cannot accept these thoughts as part of ourselves, we assume that the feelings they generate are coming from whatever or whoever reminded us of them. This is called projection. Anyone that seems vaguely menacing can cause us to project our own suppressed anger onto them. This anger seems to be separate from "our own" thoughts, making it easy to believe that the anger is coming from the other person. Someone with different customs can prompt us to project any anti-social or simply unconventional thoughts of our own that disturbed or disgusted us, making the person before us seems disturbing or dangerous. Depending on the force of our suppressed feelings, people who are in fact harmless can appear to be capable of bringing down civilization.
Well, that was a long exposition, but it boils down to this. The more you accept your own thoughts as normal and natural, whether they offend your sense of decency or not, the more clearly you will be able to see the world. Convincing others of this could be a problem, however
Why does the world seem to be completely insane?
Yes, it always appears that you are in a minority of sane people (or perhaps you are the ONLY sane person) in a sea of completely confused crackpots. The reason that so many other people seem completely confused and wrongheaded is that they use different symbols and metaphors to view the world. It is impossible to discuss important issues such as politics, families, violence, justice, etc. without resorting to symbolism. Anything that does not directly refer to something that can be physically sensed, such as justice or one's concept of God must be referred to by metaphor and symbol. If you and another use different symbols, you will be unable to communicate effectively. Some of the main metaphors in use today are:
People who share one or more basic metaphors will find that they can communicate effectively with one another and work together constructively. People who do not share any metaphors will usually be unable to regard one another with anything beyond fear, hostility, and contempt. Because of this lack of communication between groups, most discussions of important issues in the public arena quickly degenerate into grandstanding and name calling, because in the absence of real understanding between the disagreeing parties, only mob psychology is left to sway public opinion.
In all of this you may be left frustrated and unable to act, because you have not yet realized that:
- Conventional religion
- Science
- Power, that is, dominance and submission
- Artistic and aesthetic worth
- Traditional political categories
- Material wealth and security
- Romanticism and relationships
- Honor, valor, and courage
- Bigotry, racism, and exclusivity
- Depth psychology (Freud, Jung, etc.)
- Humanism and "new age" psychology
- Traditional philosophy
People who share one or more basic metaphors will find that they can communicate effectively with one another and work together constructively. People who do not share any metaphors will usually be unable to regard one another with anything beyond fear, hostility, and contempt. Because of this lack of communication between groups, most discussions of important issues in the public arena quickly degenerate into grandstanding and name calling, because in the absence of real understanding between the disagreeing parties, only mob psychology is left to sway public opinion.
In all of this you may be left frustrated and unable to act, because you have not yet realized that:
The World Doesn't Want to be Saved.
The world is a teeming mishmash of cultures with a bewildering array of values and ideologies engaged in their own version of the good life. People are generally not interested in changing the metaphors through which they view the world, so real understanding between groups with conflicting viewpoints is not achievable in the short term. The good news is, that's OK, because the world isn't supposed to be saved on a global scale. It must be saved at the level of the individual. And despite the fact that the level of the individual appears to be statistically insignificant, it is in fact the most significant, because it is only at the level of the individual that a creative synthesis of conflicting metaphors can occur. Once a connection is made at the individual level, the process of spreading successful new metaphors throughout society is essential automatic if the society is ready for them. If the society is not ready, the new metaphors will not be accepted under any circumstances. So don't beat you head on a rock. Solve your own interpersonal communication problems. If the world is ready to benefit from your solutions, you will not be able to stop it from using them.Why Bad Things Happen to Good People?
Actually there is a book by the name "When Bad Things Happen to Good People." No one here has read it. Of course, we don't need to, because we already know why:
Justice sounds like a good idea because it sort of equalizes the pain. I get hurt, so you get hurt in return. Well there's more ocean than land, more roaches than roach motels, and more salesmen than prophets. Things just aren't meant to be equal. Suffering and happiness are not weights in some cosmic Martha Stewart food scale, their relative proportion is completely unpredictable, just get over it.
Here's the deal. Tragedy may be unequal, but it isn't random. Yes, there is a meaning, we're giving a bit away early here. Bad things usually happen to forcefully slap us out of whatever stupor we are in at the time. We are supposed to start questioning our beliefs. We are supposed to figure out what is and what is not important to us. People usually don't change unless they feel sufficient pain to overcome their natural resistance to change. Change takes energy. Nothing energizes like tragedy. What suffering is usually supposed to encourage us to do is figure out how to avoid suffering in the future. Find out what happy people do and imitate them. This is not rocket science.
If tragedy seems random and cruel now, it isn't. You're just not wanting to look at the facts. What facts those are exactly will be addressed in the Meaning of Life Part II.
Of course, if people don't get the hint and continue to imitate deer staring into the headlights of destiny, well, that's their lookout. Do not get mad at God/the universe/insert your cosmic principle here. Do what you're supposed to do, pick your ass up off the ground and try again. Nobody likes a crybaby.
You can't get out of it by going limp and giving up. That usually makes it worse. Athletes must tolerate a certain level of pain to reach their goals. You are no different.
As for the injustice of loved ones getting killed, etc., that has its own purpose. Don't ask unanswerable questions about other people; you've got enough to worry about with your own situation. If you get tragically killed, then you'll understand. Until then, forget it.
We have been criticized about the callous nature of this page. For people who have recently lost family members, etc., this little diatribe can sting. However, the message is still true even for them. Life is very unfair, but like chemotherapy, it does the job.
There is no such thing as Justice
It is an illusion. A myth. A fairy tale. Life really isn't fair. The question is, why do you think it's supposed to be? Who started that idea? Job? The people who tried to put a good face on beating people up by inventing the Queensbury Rules? We don't know.Justice sounds like a good idea because it sort of equalizes the pain. I get hurt, so you get hurt in return. Well there's more ocean than land, more roaches than roach motels, and more salesmen than prophets. Things just aren't meant to be equal. Suffering and happiness are not weights in some cosmic Martha Stewart food scale, their relative proportion is completely unpredictable, just get over it.
Here's the deal. Tragedy may be unequal, but it isn't random. Yes, there is a meaning, we're giving a bit away early here. Bad things usually happen to forcefully slap us out of whatever stupor we are in at the time. We are supposed to start questioning our beliefs. We are supposed to figure out what is and what is not important to us. People usually don't change unless they feel sufficient pain to overcome their natural resistance to change. Change takes energy. Nothing energizes like tragedy. What suffering is usually supposed to encourage us to do is figure out how to avoid suffering in the future. Find out what happy people do and imitate them. This is not rocket science.
If tragedy seems random and cruel now, it isn't. You're just not wanting to look at the facts. What facts those are exactly will be addressed in the Meaning of Life Part II.
Of course, if people don't get the hint and continue to imitate deer staring into the headlights of destiny, well, that's their lookout. Do not get mad at God/the universe/insert your cosmic principle here. Do what you're supposed to do, pick your ass up off the ground and try again. Nobody likes a crybaby.
You can't get out of it by going limp and giving up. That usually makes it worse. Athletes must tolerate a certain level of pain to reach their goals. You are no different.
As for the injustice of loved ones getting killed, etc., that has its own purpose. Don't ask unanswerable questions about other people; you've got enough to worry about with your own situation. If you get tragically killed, then you'll understand. Until then, forget it.
We have been criticized about the callous nature of this page. For people who have recently lost family members, etc., this little diatribe can sting. However, the message is still true even for them. Life is very unfair, but like chemotherapy, it does the job.
Proving Your Intellectual Prowess
Ah, yes, the eager young intellectual out to battle the demons of smug fuzzy-headedness here on the net. Well, Homey don't play that. We aren't going to argue with you, because we already know what arguments can and cannot be knocked down. As Kant pointed out quite a while back now, no metaphysical axiom can be proven to be necessary. Meaning, by its very nature, implies a metaphysical and teleological structure that is rooted in assumptions beyond mere matter. That is to say, you will be able to very easily poke holes in our presentation of the meaning of life, by definition. It wouldn't be the meaning of life if it were logically unassailable.
The only unassailable arguments these days are materialism and pure philosophical agnosticism. If you are dealing with someone who believes that the material world exists, you can win every argument by having the position that all that exists are atoms and molecules bouncing randomly around and that there is no moral or philosophical principle that can be proven to be true, or even to have any meaning. Life is completely pointless on a philosophical level, but if you want to continue filling your belly just for the sheer bloody- mindedness of it, Darwin pointed out the basic game plan and Ayn Rand filled in the egotistical details. Have at it.
If you have someone who is more clever and knows to argue that the material world may not exist, then there are not only no moral or philosophical principles that can be proven to exist, but indeed, there are no scientific principles that can be proven to exist either. You have sunken into solipsism, which of course can't be proven either, leaving you with no provable statements whatsoever. As before of course, if you wish to continue filling your non-existent belly with insubstantial morsels, there are plenty of other non-existent people who will apparently play that game with what we will for argument's sake call you, so jolly good luck, if there were such a thing.
The only unassailable arguments these days are materialism and pure philosophical agnosticism. If you are dealing with someone who believes that the material world exists, you can win every argument by having the position that all that exists are atoms and molecules bouncing randomly around and that there is no moral or philosophical principle that can be proven to be true, or even to have any meaning. Life is completely pointless on a philosophical level, but if you want to continue filling your belly just for the sheer bloody- mindedness of it, Darwin pointed out the basic game plan and Ayn Rand filled in the egotistical details. Have at it.
If you have someone who is more clever and knows to argue that the material world may not exist, then there are not only no moral or philosophical principles that can be proven to exist, but indeed, there are no scientific principles that can be proven to exist either. You have sunken into solipsism, which of course can't be proven either, leaving you with no provable statements whatsoever. As before of course, if you wish to continue filling your non-existent belly with insubstantial morsels, there are plenty of other non-existent people who will apparently play that game with what we will for argument's sake call you, so jolly good luck, if there were such a thing.
Feel Useless and Worthless?
Well, you are. No, seriously, this is a typical problem in most cultures around the world. People tell their children (with words and actions) that they are no-good, worthless, useless drains on their parents' happiness, pocketbooks, and patience. Given this scenario, you get a lot of adults who became convinced as children that they were just no good, and they helpfully pass this attitude on to their children. Lovely predicament, eh?
Well, thankfully, they were wrong. Let's take useless first, it's easier. You cannot be classified as useless, because you aren't really supposed to have to make yourself useful. Look at the natural world. What is the use of a tree? Well, it has many uses, but it isn't TRYING to be useful. There's the difference. It's just doing what it wants (or so we assume) and in the process of doing that it does its job in the natural order of things. Despite all the rantings of moralists, you are in the same boat. The only way you are ever going to do an ounce of good in the world is to do what you want. Do what makes you happy, or at least what distracts you from your misery. Important Note: If you have an underdeveloped sense of empathy and enjoy doing things that harm others, ignore this advice and get professional help!
How, you may ask, does doing what you like do any good? Look around you. Look at people who seem to be trying very hard to be useful. Are they really doing good things for people? Or do they make everyone around them miserable with all their moral uppidyness and incessant busy bodying? I suspect it is the latter. The people who really do others some good are the people who are doing what they like and who aren't very interested in being useful. They are usually interesting to be around, because they are doing things that interest them. They are often fun to be around, because they appreciate fun and know how to laugh and not take anything too seriously. They inspire other people to figure out what it is that they want to do by example, thus causing more people to be interested in life and interesting to be around, fun loving, etc.
Out of all the people we meet in life, these people who are doing their own thing are the people who have the most profoundly positive impact on us and thus make our lives richer in the most fundamental, meaningful way. Can you really call that useless? Sure, working in a soup kitchen will feed people, but if you're being a martyr about it because you don't really want to be there, everyone around you will see right through you and hate you for being moralistic and insincere, and you will end up doing more harm than good. So, revel in your perfect uselessness. It's the useful thing to do.
What if everyone in the world just did what they wanted? Would it be anarchy? Well, that starts to get into the subject matter for our eventual companion page, How to Solve All the World's Problems.
You see, there are really only two moral beliefs about people, either people are basically good, or they are basically bad. 99.9 percent of the world's population believes that people are basically bad, and that's a problem. If it's true that people are basically bad, then there is no hope for us; democracy is obviously doomed, and a benevolent monarchy is impossible because no basically bad person could stay benevolent once they had all that power.
Are people basically bad? Let's look at the facts. Once again, look at the people around you. Once you get to know them, you realize that:
Obviously, you are in the same boat. You are doing the best you can with what you have. You are already living the most moral and correct life you know how to live. There is no more that you can do at this moment to be a better person. You are already a good person. You do not have to strive every moment to be better than it is possible for you to be. Smile at yourself. You're OK.
Now, it should be clear that you can improve. Not by beating yourself over the head for bad things you've done; those things couldn't be helped. You were just doing your best with what you had. What you can do is learn where your blind spots are. Watch others. People who at first glance are just plan old bad people are on further investigation suffering from horrendous misconceptions about how the world works. You also have misconceptions about the best way to get what you want. Find those misconceptions and wake up!
But, don't worry if your progress is slow and unsteady. You will make progress, but after all, you can only do the best you can with what you have. (Man, why did we beat this topic's catch phrase into the ground, over and over? Well, we were just doing, you know, that thing we said.)
Well, thankfully, they were wrong. Let's take useless first, it's easier. You cannot be classified as useless, because you aren't really supposed to have to make yourself useful. Look at the natural world. What is the use of a tree? Well, it has many uses, but it isn't TRYING to be useful. There's the difference. It's just doing what it wants (or so we assume) and in the process of doing that it does its job in the natural order of things. Despite all the rantings of moralists, you are in the same boat. The only way you are ever going to do an ounce of good in the world is to do what you want. Do what makes you happy, or at least what distracts you from your misery. Important Note: If you have an underdeveloped sense of empathy and enjoy doing things that harm others, ignore this advice and get professional help!
How, you may ask, does doing what you like do any good? Look around you. Look at people who seem to be trying very hard to be useful. Are they really doing good things for people? Or do they make everyone around them miserable with all their moral uppidyness and incessant busy bodying? I suspect it is the latter. The people who really do others some good are the people who are doing what they like and who aren't very interested in being useful. They are usually interesting to be around, because they are doing things that interest them. They are often fun to be around, because they appreciate fun and know how to laugh and not take anything too seriously. They inspire other people to figure out what it is that they want to do by example, thus causing more people to be interested in life and interesting to be around, fun loving, etc.
Out of all the people we meet in life, these people who are doing their own thing are the people who have the most profoundly positive impact on us and thus make our lives richer in the most fundamental, meaningful way. Can you really call that useless? Sure, working in a soup kitchen will feed people, but if you're being a martyr about it because you don't really want to be there, everyone around you will see right through you and hate you for being moralistic and insincere, and you will end up doing more harm than good. So, revel in your perfect uselessness. It's the useful thing to do.
What if everyone in the world just did what they wanted? Would it be anarchy? Well, that starts to get into the subject matter for our eventual companion page, How to Solve All the World's Problems.
Now, for Worthless...
If you can overcome the stigma of uselessness, you are halfway to getting over worthlessness. Because worthlessness is often just the moral judgment you place on yourself when you think you are useless. However, worthlessness goes deeper. Worthlessness implies that you don't even have a right to be here. You are not one of the blessed, you are one of the damned.You see, there are really only two moral beliefs about people, either people are basically good, or they are basically bad. 99.9 percent of the world's population believes that people are basically bad, and that's a problem. If it's true that people are basically bad, then there is no hope for us; democracy is obviously doomed, and a benevolent monarchy is impossible because no basically bad person could stay benevolent once they had all that power.
Are people basically bad? Let's look at the facts. Once again, look at the people around you. Once you get to know them, you realize that:
Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have.
Everyone on the planet is in exactly the same state of moral worth, because we are all doing the best we can with what we have. Poor upbringings cause many people to not have much to do their best with, but hey, that's life. Criminals believe they are powerless, so breaking the social contract is the only way they think they can get what they need and manage to feel somewhat powerful. People without that hang-up can see that cooperation and respect are really how things get accomplished, but both of these types of people are simply trying to live a fulfilling life using the methods that they think have the best chance of working. So you see, people are basically good. They are all trying to do their best. They often just need some help overcoming inner demons and behavior patterns that aren't really working for them.Obviously, you are in the same boat. You are doing the best you can with what you have. You are already living the most moral and correct life you know how to live. There is no more that you can do at this moment to be a better person. You are already a good person. You do not have to strive every moment to be better than it is possible for you to be. Smile at yourself. You're OK.
Now, it should be clear that you can improve. Not by beating yourself over the head for bad things you've done; those things couldn't be helped. You were just doing your best with what you had. What you can do is learn where your blind spots are. Watch others. People who at first glance are just plan old bad people are on further investigation suffering from horrendous misconceptions about how the world works. You also have misconceptions about the best way to get what you want. Find those misconceptions and wake up!
But, don't worry if your progress is slow and unsteady. You will make progress, but after all, you can only do the best you can with what you have. (Man, why did we beat this topic's catch phrase into the ground, over and over? Well, we were just doing, you know, that thing we said.)
Unhappy? Depressed?
Well, obviously if you're really bad off you should really talk to a professional, but as long as you're not contemplating any ugly irreversible acts, here's something that might help.
Think of someone you know that seems pretty happy about life. How would you describe their attitude? Are they kidding themselves? Are they ignoring the ugly truth about life that's right in front of their eyes and pretending that some happy fantasy world that exists only in their heads is real? Well, guess what. That is exactly how every happy person in the world acts. And the really strange thing is that it's OK. Because the reason that you are unhappy is that you have constructed a fantasy world just as complete and just as removed from the "facts" as the Pollyanna imaginings that you so despise in those happy people.
Reality is in fact neither good nor bad, it is a very plastic inkblot sort of thing that can be bent and twisted in many directions depending on your beliefs. WHAT! you say? What about THE TRUTH? Well, that's a complicated question and it gets into the meaning of life bit that we haven't gotten to yet, but suffice it to say that what is REALLY going on is so strange, so complex, and so far beyond our everyday understanding, that it bears no relationship to what you think of as "reality", "truth", or "reason". Good and bad, happy and sad, these are notions that you are imposing on the world around you. But, more on that in part II of the Meaning of Life Page.
The answer to unhappiness is both liberating and infuriating, but here it is. Happiness doesn't depend on anything that has or has not happened in the past, nor does it depend on your future prospects (thank God, eh?). The simple fact is, in order to be happy:
Happy deciding.
Think of someone you know that seems pretty happy about life. How would you describe their attitude? Are they kidding themselves? Are they ignoring the ugly truth about life that's right in front of their eyes and pretending that some happy fantasy world that exists only in their heads is real? Well, guess what. That is exactly how every happy person in the world acts. And the really strange thing is that it's OK. Because the reason that you are unhappy is that you have constructed a fantasy world just as complete and just as removed from the "facts" as the Pollyanna imaginings that you so despise in those happy people.
Reality is in fact neither good nor bad, it is a very plastic inkblot sort of thing that can be bent and twisted in many directions depending on your beliefs. WHAT! you say? What about THE TRUTH? Well, that's a complicated question and it gets into the meaning of life bit that we haven't gotten to yet, but suffice it to say that what is REALLY going on is so strange, so complex, and so far beyond our everyday understanding, that it bears no relationship to what you think of as "reality", "truth", or "reason". Good and bad, happy and sad, these are notions that you are imposing on the world around you. But, more on that in part II of the Meaning of Life Page.
The answer to unhappiness is both liberating and infuriating, but here it is. Happiness doesn't depend on anything that has or has not happened in the past, nor does it depend on your future prospects (thank God, eh?). The simple fact is, in order to be happy:
You Must Decide to be Happy.
Yep. Isn't that aggravating? You can't blame it on anyone else, and no one else can do a thing for you. You've just got to decide to be happy, whether or not your logical mind thinks it is rational to be happy and whether or not your moral sense thinks you deserve to be happy. You absolutely will not be happy for any length of time until you decide to, and if you decide to, you can be happy in the face of the most miserable circumstances.Happy deciding.
What's the significance of life? Who are we?
Love...
Sooo....
Love ... Its hard to explain the feeling... Some people say that love dosen't exist, they say its when you care about someone. I say its not just that there something more to caring... i dont know but i think that you know when you met someone that you can spend the rest of your misarable life with ( this is totally in my case).
The thing i hate about is the breaking up part which (sorry for my language) suck ass like literally it suck...
if you break up with someone it just feels like someone ripped out your heart and cracked a fart in it... I oftenly thing about those things and what will happen to someone if he/she found out that he/she didnt leave him/her on purpose but he/she died or something like that ... Even thinking about it make me sad. Its just so sad.
I freak out when i find out that i was dumped , i dont know what would happen to me if someone i love leaves me or died, i'd prolly go ballistic and do alot of stupid stuff ...
so... yeah
Hang in there just like me and hope that the next day will be better
BB
Love ... Its hard to explain the feeling... Some people say that love dosen't exist, they say its when you care about someone. I say its not just that there something more to caring... i dont know but i think that you know when you met someone that you can spend the rest of your misarable life with ( this is totally in my case).
The thing i hate about is the breaking up part which (sorry for my language) suck ass like literally it suck...
if you break up with someone it just feels like someone ripped out your heart and cracked a fart in it... I oftenly thing about those things and what will happen to someone if he/she found out that he/she didnt leave him/her on purpose but he/she died or something like that ... Even thinking about it make me sad. Its just so sad.
I freak out when i find out that i was dumped , i dont know what would happen to me if someone i love leaves me or died, i'd prolly go ballistic and do alot of stupid stuff ...
so... yeah
Hang in there just like me and hope that the next day will be better
BB
BFMV-All the things i hate...
Once more I'll say goodbye to you
Things happen, but we don't really know why
if it's supposed to be like this
why do most of us ignore the chance to miss
oh yeah
Torn apart at the seams of my dreams turn to tears
I'm not feeling the situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide
It's the best place to be when you're feeling like
Me! (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
All these things I hate revolve around Me! (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
Just back off before i snap
Once more you tell those lies to me
Why can't you just be straight up with honesty (honesty,honesty)
When you say those things in my ear
Why do you always tell me what you wanna hear (wana hear,wanna hear)
oh yeah (yeah!)
Wear your heart on your sleeve make things hard to believe
I'm not feeling the situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide
It's the best place to be when you're feeling like
Me! (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
All these things I hate revolve around me (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
Just back off before I snap and you'll see! (me)
Me! (Me)
All these things I hate revolve around me (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
Just back off before I snap
Torn apart at the seams of my dreams turn to tears
I'm not feeling the situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide
It's the best place to be when you're feeling like me
(it's the best place to be when you're!)
Me! (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
All these things I hate revolve around me (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
Just back off before I snap and you'll see (Me)
Me! (Me)
All these things I hate revolve around me (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
Just back off before I snap
Things happen, but we don't really know why
if it's supposed to be like this
why do most of us ignore the chance to miss
oh yeah
Torn apart at the seams of my dreams turn to tears
I'm not feeling the situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide
It's the best place to be when you're feeling like
Me! (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
All these things I hate revolve around Me! (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
Just back off before i snap
Once more you tell those lies to me
Why can't you just be straight up with honesty (honesty,honesty)
When you say those things in my ear
Why do you always tell me what you wanna hear (wana hear,wanna hear)
oh yeah (yeah!)
Wear your heart on your sleeve make things hard to believe
I'm not feeling the situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide
It's the best place to be when you're feeling like
Me! (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
All these things I hate revolve around me (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
Just back off before I snap and you'll see! (me)
Me! (Me)
All these things I hate revolve around me (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
Just back off before I snap
Torn apart at the seams of my dreams turn to tears
I'm not feeling the situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide
It's the best place to be when you're feeling like me
(it's the best place to be when you're!)
Me! (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
All these things I hate revolve around me (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
Just back off before I snap and you'll see (Me)
Me! (Me)
All these things I hate revolve around me (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
Just back off before I snap
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