hey, im afraid that one day i will lose my self.... i will lose control over my body, lose my memorys... the one things i hold dearest the most... what if i do die... what then... im losing control over my body as we speak... i wonder how long will it take when i lose my mind...
go crazy...
people will only talk shit about me... being a crazy man... i just cant stop thinking about it....
what if i was made to be a madman..
what if i was designed to die, to become a deadman... like in anime. i become a filler...
all these ideas...
is'nt it great
here are some ideas of my mind...
at this very moment im listening to a very old song, a very good sond , song of silence...
I am a bit high at the moment. my ideas on the subject are following, its good to a limit, i belive every once in a while. i smoke it sometime, when i feel like i need sometime on my own, with my mind... just think.
at this very moment im listening to a very old song, a very good sond , song of silence...
I am a bit high at the moment. my ideas on the subject are following, its good to a limit, i belive every once in a while. i smoke it sometime, when i feel like i need sometime on my own, with my mind... just think.
when the only thing you think is yours slips away.
My memory has been disintegrating.i spent too much time on the other side, now its eating away at my mind...
erasing whats left of it. my memorys are all confused, slowly self-destructing,fading like a dream after you wake up.
im losing my sence of time. I no longer know what happend before or after. everything is playing inside my head the same time.
its like watching the same film looping over and over again.a chaos of images with no order.
so i've been writing nighr and day for weeks.
trying to put my life down of paper.
if i forget everything, these papers will be my memory.
im finally getting what i wanted, i've never been so unhappy in my life. i feel like a part of me has been amputated. i know its stupid... Shit... I miss it SO much. and thats not the only thing i miss.
it took months... months of nothing, passing by. deep down i know, i needed the silence around me, to hear what i was feeling.
erasing whats left of it. my memorys are all confused, slowly self-destructing,fading like a dream after you wake up.
im losing my sence of time. I no longer know what happend before or after. everything is playing inside my head the same time.
its like watching the same film looping over and over again.a chaos of images with no order.
so i've been writing nighr and day for weeks.
trying to put my life down of paper.
if i forget everything, these papers will be my memory.
im finally getting what i wanted, i've never been so unhappy in my life. i feel like a part of me has been amputated. i know its stupid... Shit... I miss it SO much. and thats not the only thing i miss.
it took months... months of nothing, passing by. deep down i know, i needed the silence around me, to hear what i was feeling.
something thats bothering me
Hey,
lately,i've been thinking about ways people can turn a dreams into a video clip that can be watched by others.
as some people know theres a way to make blind people see again, its not perfect but they see somethings,
It takes a camera and its connected to the brain, which allowes them to see colors and objects outlines.
what if we could turn that thing around, so we could record and replay our dreams.
first we must understand what is a memory,
Let's start from a feeling like falling in love... that exact moment when you realize that, you brain uses synapses to send out a electrical pulse, through nerve cells in your brain... the electrical pulse passes through these nerve cells in a path. that path is the moment/that feeling, everytime you remind yourself of that moment. a electrical pulse goes through that same path to remind you the feeling, what you saw, what smell there was etc.
now if we could tap into that memory bank, why cant we see our dreams from that bank?
theres experiments made on that... the pictures were blurry but they managed to get the image... think about it... it opens a whole new world of chances...
i got this idea, after having some dreams i really wanna remember, i wanna relive those dreams... I was happy in them... I really want this idea to come true.
lately,i've been thinking about ways people can turn a dreams into a video clip that can be watched by others.
as some people know theres a way to make blind people see again, its not perfect but they see somethings,
It takes a camera and its connected to the brain, which allowes them to see colors and objects outlines.
what if we could turn that thing around, so we could record and replay our dreams.
first we must understand what is a memory,
Let's start from a feeling like falling in love... that exact moment when you realize that, you brain uses synapses to send out a electrical pulse, through nerve cells in your brain... the electrical pulse passes through these nerve cells in a path. that path is the moment/that feeling, everytime you remind yourself of that moment. a electrical pulse goes through that same path to remind you the feeling, what you saw, what smell there was etc.
now if we could tap into that memory bank, why cant we see our dreams from that bank?
theres experiments made on that... the pictures were blurry but they managed to get the image... think about it... it opens a whole new world of chances...
i got this idea, after having some dreams i really wanna remember, i wanna relive those dreams... I was happy in them... I really want this idea to come true.
The worst part...
The worst part about this is The knowing. The knowing when times up.i sometimes think why bother with all the little things, the end result is still the same, i've missed out on a lot of stuff... i wanna feel love, hold a loved one, be there when someone needs me, but my chances are slim. I miss the old times, when everything was easier, when i didnt need to worry about things so much... now thats the only thing i do... i go on walks and just worry about pointless things and think and think and think...
when you're sick people tend to leave you behind. they dont wanna get attached to people...
I miss her... I really do... but shes better off the way things are... i belive thats for sure...
maybe i should write a letter or something... you know. ''The Letter''. say sorry to people and hope that they forgive me, say sorry to my mom for being the son that went away, tell my brothers that there fffing stupid nad that they should get there s**t together. Say sorry to my best friend for not being strong enough, for all the crap i cant help you when im gone... im ffing 18... dont you think its a bit too early, what do you think?
I see this time as a road you walk on, and everyday that road i walk, gets lonelier and lonelier..
when i make that letter, Read it well...
all my sorrows are behind me soon.
when you're sick people tend to leave you behind. they dont wanna get attached to people...
I miss her... I really do... but shes better off the way things are... i belive thats for sure...
maybe i should write a letter or something... you know. ''The Letter''. say sorry to people and hope that they forgive me, say sorry to my mom for being the son that went away, tell my brothers that there fffing stupid nad that they should get there s**t together. Say sorry to my best friend for not being strong enough, for all the crap i cant help you when im gone... im ffing 18... dont you think its a bit too early, what do you think?
I see this time as a road you walk on, and everyday that road i walk, gets lonelier and lonelier..
when i make that letter, Read it well...
all my sorrows are behind me soon.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)